dear my darling 7,

The lack of updates have been intentional, so no apologies here. Outside this website, sadly, I am a person that does things. Those things in question have taken most of my days and relegated me outside the confines of the internet. However, "I am busy" are not the words I created an entire page to say. Gosh. How do I convey this as gracefully as possible?

I wish i saw what others saw: their amazement, the enthusiasm. I wish then, they see what I see: The clumsy execution, novice form; amateure skill.

I wish then, for a thousand, or even millions, of eyes to glare at this hole I've dug. I wish then, for none to see this at all, and to stop digging.

But this stupid allegory is too deep now, and I guess the most graceful way to say this is: My own hypocrite mind is killing me.

There is no way I could arange and rearange and delete and type these words in a way that matters to me. None of it all matters to me. But, I know there are people this does matter to. For that, I am sorry.

To my seven followers, and to the poor IRLs who kept nagging to see this: I respect you all. All of you, so, so, so very much. Sorry for not being all that talkative, but thank you for your attention. Knowing that someone is looking has helped me come this far.

I dont know when I'll start updating again. However, when I do, I'll make up for each swordsmachine saturnday I missed out on. I promise!

In the meantime, wish me luck on this sisyphean task of recovery, and for more freetime lol

thank you.

~226♡

p.s. Ive been holding onto this letter for months now, and have only decided to release it due some anon freak(endearing) recently commenting on my guestbook and chat. lol. thanks for motivating me.